Relationships: Why Do Some People Stay In Touch With Their Ex?

If one’s relationship has just come to an end, they could decide to cut their ties and to move on with their life. As a result of this, they are not going to want to stay in touch with their ex.

One Step Back

Doing so could be seen as something that will stop them from being able to put the past firmly behind them. And, if one didn’t really get on with the other person or if they simply grew apart, this is going to make perfect sense.

In this case, staying in touch would be similar to keeping a car that no longer works – it wouldn’t make sense. Their time with the other person has come to an end and it will be in their best interest to let go.

A New Beginning

Now that their relationship has come to end, they can focus more of their energy and attention on other areas of their life. They may decide that they want to spend some time in their own company.

Through doing this, it will give them the opportunity to get back in touch with who they are. Alternatively, one might not need to do this, as they might already be only too aware of what their needs are.

External Feedback

The people in their life could understand why they no longer want to speak to the person they were with. If one wasn’t in a relationship that was very healthy, they might be relieved that one is taking this approach.

They would have seen the amount of damage that this was doing to them, and they might have even encouraged them to walk away before. But even if their relationship wasn’t unhealthy, they could still support their decision.

A Pattern

If one was to look back on their life, they may find that this is how they have always behaved. So, no matter what their relationships were like in the past, their behaviour would have been the same.

Then again, one might have held on in the past and came to see that this was not doing them any favours. Their change in behaviour will be the result of an experience or a number of experiences that had a big impact on them.

A Different Approach

But for every person who behaves in this way, there are going to be plenty of others who don’t. When one can relate to this, they are not be able to just walk away; they will need to stay in touch with their ex.

Therefore, once one is no longer in a relationship with someone, they will still be part of their life. One is then not going to want to be too close to them, but they won’t want them to be too far away either.

Two Experiences

If one was in a relationship that wasn’t dysfunctional, it could be said that this kind of behaviour makes sense. But if they didn’t get on, it can be a lot harder to comprehend what is going on.

When it comes to the former, they will probably respect each other and there will be all the positive experiences that they had together, and they might have mutual friends. Yet, when it comes to the latter, there is unlikely to be any respect between them and there will be all the negative experiences that they have shared.

One Factor

What one could find is that staying in touch with their ex makes it easier for them to handle how they feel. This person, as well as their others exes, could provide them with the support that they need to make up for their inner instability.

If they were with someone who was abusive, being this way is going to make it harder for them to cut their ties with someone who is not good for them. Their inner instability will cause them to hold on and it would have been one of the reasons why they ended up with someone like this to begin with.

Another Factor

One’s emotions are going to be out of control and this will make it harder for them to be able to control their behaviour. But while someone who stays in touch with their ex could be emotionally out of control, they could also be emotionally dead.

When this takes place, it is not going to be a way for them to settle themselves down; it will be a way for them to gain resources. Having their ex in their life can allow them to have sex, gain money and receive other benefits.

Two Extremes

The person in the first example probably won’t find it hard to empathise; whereas the person in the second example probably will. Empathy is vital when it comes to being able to treat other people as separate human beings, as opposed to objects that are there to be used.

Ergo, when one sees another person as an object that exists to fulfil their needs, it is going to be a challenge for them to realise that this person also has feelings and needs. And, if they were to get to a point where they no longer need them, they could discard them.

Awareness

If someone does use people, it is unlikely that they would feel the need to change their behaviour. On the other hand, if one feels emotionally unstable, they might look into what they can do to settle themselves down.

Relationships: Why Do Some Women Want To Be Worshipped?

In today’s world, it is relatively easy for a woman receive attention; the only thing that she needs is a social media account. And if one is not enough, then she can join a number of different sites.

A Big Audience

Once she has uploaded a few pictures of herself, it might only be a matter of time before she has a large following. That is something is likely to depend on what she looks like, as her appearance will have a big effect.

If she is classed as being physically attractive or even if she is seen as being relatively attractive, it might not be long until hundreds or even thousands of people are ‘liking’ and commenting on her pictures. What this shows is that it won’t have been necessary for her to achieve anything significant in order to receive attention.

Born Valuable

This is why it has been said that while men are born poor and die rich, women are born rich and die poor – that is when it comes to their sexual market value. Another way of looking at it would be to say that men are human doings and women are human beings.

A lot has been done to try to change this, but a man’s value is often attributed to what he does, and a woman’s value is often attributed to what she looks like. This is then why women are often perceived as having more value than men when they are younger and why it can take a while for a man to be seen as being valuable.

The A Clear Example

The only thing a woman needs is to have good genes and she is likely to be seen as valuable; whereas a man will probably need to work hard and to produce something significant in order to be perceived in the same manner. This is something that stands out on social media.

And when a woman shares pictures online they could just be of her face, or she could share pictures of her body, too. On the one hand, this could be something that she does from time to time, while on the other, she could upload pictures every day.

Identification

It could then be as if this is someone who is obsessed with their appearance, and this is going to relate to their face and their body. But even if this is the case, most of their ‘followers’ are likely to overlook this.

This could mean that this person is a ‘model’, or maybe they work in the porn industry, for instance. Her body might not just be seen as another part of her – it could be seen as who she is.

Constant Feedback

To the majority of men who ‘follow’ her, she is not just going to be a women who is a human being; she will be some kind of goddess. There will be what they would like to do to her and then there will be what they would like to do for her.

And by receiving this kind of feedback, it can cause the women to believe that she is special and better than everyone else. Yet, if she receives hundreds of comments and messages a day, this is not going to be much of a surprise.

One Side

One way of looking at this would be to say that when a man behaves in this manner he is being fuelled by lust. His sexual desire is then what is defining his behaviour, as opposed to him having a real appreciation for the woman.

This doesn’t mean that his emotions are not having an effect, though, as the lust that he experiences could be a way for him to avoid how he feels. Deep down he could feel empty, and this is likely to show that he is out of touch with his own feminine aspect.

Projection

As a result of this, he ends up projecting the parts of himself that he hasn’t realised onto women; this will relate to being loved, supported, and feeling whole, among other things. Through being out of touch with his own feminine aspect, it will cause him believe that he needs to be with a woman to experience these things.

When it comes to a woman who needs so much attention, it would be easy to say that she is just doing this to express herself. Then again, it could also show that she lacks a strong sense of self and doesn’t value herself.

A Deep Hole

Like a bucket with a hole in, it might not matter how much positive feedback she receives as it will never be enough. It is then likely to show that there is something within her that is causing her to feel this way.

Her need to look perfect externally is then a way for her to counteract how flawed she feels on the inside. And if she does look practically perfect on the outside, it is generally going to be a challenge for people to see what is going on.

A Deeper Look

At one point in her life, she may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. This could have been during her adult years, or it could go back to what happened when she was younger.

Maybe she was physically or even sexually abused, which would have set her up to experience a lot of shame. It was then not that there was something wrong with the person or people who abused her – it was that there was something inherently wrong with her.

Awareness

The years would then have passed and she would have done everything she could to avoid her true feelings. What this shows is how painful it is to experience toxic shame; it is probably the most painful feeling to experience.

At the same time, it wouldn’t be accurate to say that it is simply a feeling, as it is something that is likely to have penetrated her whole being. If a woman can relate to this, and she wants to change her life, it might be a good idea for her to work with a therapist or a healer.